i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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