she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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