Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
