He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
