He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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