Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
