Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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