apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
farters have to be the big spoon...
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize