What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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