DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
