Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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