boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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