Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
