Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
Dicks are not precious.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize
