he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
