Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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