At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
