Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
