Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
Randomize
