She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
