this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
