You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
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