so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
