around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
