This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
