I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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