why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Randomize