I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
