I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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