Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Randomize
