I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
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