i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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