sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
