physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
