The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
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