Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
Randomize
