Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
