As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
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