I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
