whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
