I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
