mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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