Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize