yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
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