Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You drinking a lot?
Define a lot
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
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She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
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he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.