he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
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