I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
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