I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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