Plan B is the new Plan A
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
