That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I bet he comes in French.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
Randomize
