drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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