Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
You made out with two different species that night
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
its liver damage thursday
Randomize