What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
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