census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
