dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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