Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
Randomize
