so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
