no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
