Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
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